If you’ve ever taken your son’s phone away and watched him melt down, you know the helpless mix of frustration and fear that follows.

You want to protect him but you also want peace.

In this episode, I talked with Andrea Davis from Better Screen Time about finding that middle ground. Her story as a mom of five reminds us that the goal isn’t to control our teens it’s to teach them how to manage tech in healthy, confident ways.

Why Screens Aren’t the Enemy

Andrea shared how giving her 12-year-old a smartphone too soon changed everything. Connection time vanished, replaced by scrolling and silence.

But instead of giving up, she decided to learn and teach other parents how to use tech as a tool, not a tyrant.

Her message is freeing: We don’t have to choose between control and chaos. We can lead with confidence, not fear.

The Mindset Shift: From Fear to Confidence

When moms parent from fear, we send the message, “I don’t trust you.”

But when we parent from confidence, we say, “I believe in who you’re becoming.”

Andrea’s “Not Yet” approach is brilliant. Instead of a flat-out no, she encourages parents to say, “Not yet, you’ll get there when you’re ready.”

That small shift builds trust and teaches self-discipline.

Know If He’s Ready: The Self-Evaluation

Andrea’s free tool, Am I Ready for a Personal Device?, helps both parent and teen reflect on readiness responsibility, emotional maturity, and trust.

If your son can’t fill it out honestly, that’s your answer. Not yet.

And remember, it’s not just about whether he’s ready. It’s whether you are ready to lead the tech conversation with confidence.

Create a Family Tech Plan That Works

Andrea says, “Tech boundaries are better than tech band-aids.”
Instead of just reacting, sit down as a family and decide:

• Where do we use devices? (Not in bedrooms or at dinner.)

• When do we use them? (Set phone-free hours.)

• What’s okay and what’s not? (Agree on apps and content.)

• How long? (Most families find 30–60 minutes of leisure screen time is plenty.)

Small, clear boundaries bring big peace.

Start with You, Mom

If you’re scrolling while he’s scrolling, connection doesn’t happen.
Andrea’s advice: Live your tech life out loud.
Tell your son when you’re checking a recipe or replying to a message then put your phone away.

Model what balance looks like.

Takeaways for Boy Moms

1. Say “not yet” instead of “never.”

2. Parent from confidence, not fear.

3. Create a clear, written tech plan.

4. Model what healthy screen habits look like.

5. Protect connection over control.

Remember

You’re doing better than you think.
Your son doesn’t need a perfect plan he just needs a confident, connected mom who’s willing to keep trying.

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Guest Bio and Contact Info:

Andrea Davis is a former secondary ed teacher turned screen-time navigator and youth advocate. She is the founder of Better Screen Time, where she shares family-tested ideas from the tech trenches as a mom of five. Her mission? To guide parents on a slow-tech journey so they can worry less about tech and connect more with their kids.

Andrea is the author of Creating a Tech-Healthy Family and holds a certification from the Digital Wellness Institute. Her expertise has been spotlighted in The Wall Street Journal, National Geographic, and USA Today. She has also spoken to international audiences, offering insights and practical tools to help families and schools take the slow-tech road. Her website, betterscreentime.com, was honored with a Linda & Richard Eyre ‘Family Is’ Award.

Most recently, Andrea collaborated with her local school district to create a ‘Team Approach to Technology’ and implement a phone-free policy, showcasing her commitment to community-wide digital wellness. Residing in scenic Hood River, Oregon, Andrea and her husband, Tyler, enjoy outdoor adventures with their family, embracing the beauty of a screen-balanced life.

https://www.betterscreentime.com/free-download/

https://www.betterscreentime.com/hub/

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