What My 79-Year-Old Dad Learned from His Mom That Every Mother Raising Boys Needs to Know
Jun 16, 2025
What if the best parenting advice didn’t come from experts—but from a grandfather who’s lived it?
In honor of Father’s Day, I invited someone very special onto the podcast—my dad. We sat down to talk about parenting, perspective, and what really matters when you’re raising boys into good men.
You’re going to love this episode. It’s warm, wise, and full of wisdom that only comes with age and experience. Whether your son is 7, 14, or 18, this conversation will give you hope, a few laughs, and a roadmap you didn’t know you needed.
So let’s pull up a chair and learn from a man who’s been through it all—and still believes in the power of a mother.
Parenting from a Lifetime of Perspective
My dad, Larry Rigby, is many things—a war veteran’s son, a devoted husband, a community leader, a grandfather, and now, a great-grandfather. But above all, he’s a man who still gets emotional talking about the influence of his own mother 65+ years after his own teenage experience.
And that’s the lesson: what we do now as mothers lasts.
Some of his key reflections:
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His mom supported his quirky interests—even when they weren’t hers.
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She jumped in with a shovel to dig a duck pond because he loved it.
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She made every kid feel like they mattered.
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She served others constantly—and taught by example.
Takeaway: It wasn’t what she said. It was what she did that shaped him.
What Sons Remember—and Why It Matters
If your teenage son is currently eye-rolling his way through your every word, this is for you.
My dad reminded me of something powerful:
“Lectures don’t work. Examples do.”
Even when they act like they aren’t listening… they are. That son of yours is watching:
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How you treat others
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Whether you live your values
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How you talk about people behind closed doors
And they’re taking notes.
Stand for something. Not perfectly, not loudly—but consistently. It matters more than you know.
What Grandma Would Tell You
My dad’s mother was part of the Greatest Generation, and if she could sit across from you right now, here’s what she’d say:
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“You’re doing better than you think.”
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“Be patient. Most teenage boys aren’t wise yet.”
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“Pick your battles. Don’t fight them all.”
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“Tell him you love him. Every day. And hug him—even if you have to sneak up from behind.”
She’d also say don’t coddle. Let him take responsibility. Let him fail. Let him learn.
“Your son will remember that you stuck with him—even in his worst moments.”
Parenting Strategies That Aren’t in the Manuals
My dad may not have used terms like “nervous system regulation” or “connection-based parenting,” but he shared three of the most effective strategies I’ve ever heard:
1. The Eugene Strategy
Create an imaginary scapegoat (like Eugene) to diffuse power struggles. “Ugh, Eugene forgot to take out the trash again!”
2. The Reset Button
When conversations go south, just say: “Wanna start over?” This saves relationships more than you’d believe.
3. Laugh Often, Especially at Yourself
A little humor can go a long way in softening the edges of conflict and helping you bond.
The Most Important Work We’ll Ever Do
I asked my dad what makes a good man. His answer?
“A real man respects women, solves problems, takes responsibility, and finishes what he starts. He’s kind, but he’s strong.”
And here's the part that made me tear up:
The most important father you’re shaping is your 14-year-old son. Even if his own father is absent or imperfect, you—his mother—are influencing what kind of father he will become.
We don’t have to rewrite the past. We just have to build the future.
Actionable Tips from This Conversation
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Serve beside him. It’s not about doing more—it’s about doing what matters together.
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Model respect. Toward him. Toward yourself. Toward others.
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Create connection over correction. Always.
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Laugh. A lot. Especially when things feel hard.
Want more conversations like this?
Join our private Facebook community for moms raising teenage boys. We talk about real-life challenges, share strategies, and lift each other up—because you don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Join “Raising Boys, Building Men” on Facebook
Remember, Mom…
You’re not just raising a teenage boy.
You’re building a future father.
And whether it’s through cookies, conversations, or Eugene… you’re doing better than you think.
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