What’s Going on with Our Teenage Sons? Why Moms Need to Step Up Now

Every mom I know has asked this question at some point: What’s going on with our teenage sons, and what can we do about it? The honest answer? A lot. And it’s not just your imagination.

Our boys and young men are struggling in ways that are new and unique more disconnected, less confident, less motivated. The stakes are high, and as moms, we need to engage right now. Waiting and hoping someone else will fix it? That’s a luxury we don’t have.

The Big Picture: Why This Matters More Than Ever

Over the last 30 years, I’ve had the privilege of raising five sons and countless other teenage boys have passed through our home. One thing became clear: the boys who thrive share one common factor a strong connection with their moms.

Sure, dads and other male role models are crucial (and shoutout to all the amazing dads out there). But this podcast, this message, is for the moms. Because you’re the heartbeat of connection.

Let’s look at some hard truths:

• By 8th grade, boys score on average 10 points lower than girls in reading.

• Boys are less likely to graduate high school.

• Only 41% of young men enroll in post-secondary education.

• Boys are diagnosed with ADHD and behavioral disorders 4 times more than girls.

• The suicide rate for young males is 3 times higher than for females.

• 14% of men in their prime working years aren’t even in the labor force.

These aren’t just numbers they’re a call to action.

Society Isn’t Doing Our Sons Any Favors

Look around. Media often paints men as goofy or clueless, teenage boys as either obnoxious or emotionally stunted. Mixed messages bombard our sons: “Lean into your masculinity, but not too much. Show emotion, but not too much. Be chivalrous, but not outdated.” No wonder so many retreat to video games or disengage entirely.

But here’s the good news: We can change this narrative. It starts with moms stepping up with intention, connection, and confidence.

The Mom Mindset Shift: Your Son Is Not a Problem to Solve

First and foremost, ditch the self-blame. If your son is struggling, it’s not because you’re a terrible mom. If that were true, this wouldn’t be a widespread societal issue.

You’re not the problem. You are, however, a huge part of the solution.

The mindset shift that will change everything: Your son is not a problem to fix. He’s a human being to love and guide.

Stop trying to control or “fix” him. Start thinking about your role as a guide. When you get this, motherhood gets easier, more fun, and less frustrating.

Three Quick Wins to Boost Your Connection Starting Today

You don’t have to overhaul your whole life overnight. Try these three simple things to connect more deeply with your son right now:

1. Stop Being Distracted
   When your son walks in from school, practice, or even the basement, put down your phone or whatever you’re doing. Look him in the eye. Have a real conversation. Just see him.

2. Physical Connection Matters
   Yes, your teenager might reject big hugs and that’s normal. But there are other ways: a touch on the arm, sitting next to him while he watches TV, a fist bump. Small, appropriate physical contact reminds him you’re there.

3. Praise in Public, Correct in Private
   This one’s a game changer. Celebrate his wins openly and warmly. If you need to correct him, do it behind closed doors. Your son isn’t a dog to be trained with immediate correction. Give him dignity.

Your Investment Pays Off Big Time

Think about it like this: What if I told you $300 could buy you a month of dinners delivered to your home? You’d consider that a solid investment, right?

Learning how to connect with and guide your son? That investment is priceless and it lasts generations.

You’re building not just a relationship, but a foundation for a healthy, confident man who will be a good husband, father, and citizen. This work you do now ripples through your family for decades.

You’re Not Alone and You’re Doing Better Than You Think

I see you. I hear the doubts and worries. I promise you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. But you do have the power to swing this pendulum. One conversation, one moment, one choice at a time.

If you want more tools to help build connection, grab my Connection Blueprint—8 simple strategies to deepen your bond and enjoy your son more. Get is HERE

Recap:

• Boys are struggling, but moms can make the difference.

• Stop seeing your son as a problem to solve; see him as a human to love and guide.

• Try three quick connection wins: eye contact, physical touch, and praise in public/correct in private.

• Invest time in your relationship now—it pays dividends for generations.

We’re in this together, mom. Let’s raise boys who become good men. And let’s enjoy every bit of the journey.

Additional Support:

Visit our website Raisingboysbuildingmen.com HERE

Schedule a FREE Relationship Reconnection Call with Me HERE

Follow us on Instagram HERE

Grab 8 tips to connect with your son today HERE

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The Joy of Raising Son’s: 5 Unexpected Gifts of Being a Boy Mom

The #1 Parenting Secret That Will Transform Your Relationship With Your Teenage Son (And Why Nothing Else Matters)