How to Help Your Anxious Teen Son: Tools & Strategies with Dr. Robin Graham
May 11, 2025
Is your teen suddenly avoiding school, pulling away socially, or constantly overwhelmed? You're not alone—and you're not powerless. In this episode of Raising Boys, Building Men, I sit down with Dr. Robin Graham to talk about how anxiety shows up in kids (especially boys), how to recognize the signs early, and what you can do as a mom to create calm, connection, and clarity.
Whether your son has been diagnosed with anxiety or you’re just starting to suspect something deeper is going on, this conversation gives you tools, hope, and a practical plan forward.
Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety in Teen Boys
Dr. Robin shares how her son’s anxiety started around age 12—and how it took her own experience with anxiety to recognize the signs. For many moms, the red flags may include:
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Ongoing stomachaches or headaches
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Avoidance of school or social activities
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Emotional outbursts or complete shutdown
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Perfectionism or fear of failure
"Often, we try to solve the school problem or the social problem—when really, those are just symptoms. The root issue might be anxiety."
How Moms Can Support Without Hovering
Robin recommends staying connected by:
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Asking: "What do you need today?"
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Avoiding pressure and overparenting
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Keeping communication open without pushing
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Watching for behavior patterns and emotional cues
"Are you okay?" can be more powerful than we think—especially when paired with, "I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk."
The Five C’s Journaling Method
One of the most practical tools in this episode is Robin’s journaling method designed to help teens (and moms!) interrupt negative thought spirals:
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Catch It – Notice the thought.
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Challenge It – Ask: is it really true?
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Change It – Reframe it with a helpful belief.
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Control It – Practice self-regulation over time.
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Confidence – Build belief in your ability to handle tough situations.
Tip: If your son won't journal, try a whiteboard, phone notes, or even text messaging with you.
Creating a Safe Space for Conversations
Robin reminds us that trust is built in the ordinary moments:
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Sit-down dinners (even at 4:00 p.m.)
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Driving instead of carpooling for 1:1 time
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Looking them in the eye and asking real questions
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Writing notes or texting if face-to-face feels too intense
Open-ended questions like: "What was the best part of your day?" or "Is anything weighing on you lately?" open the door to connection.
The One Step You Can Take Today
If your gut says something isn’t right, listen to it. Robin encourages:
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Making an appointment with a pediatrician or therapist
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Getting coaching for yourself to build a strong parenting plan
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Acting sooner rather than later—because anxiety thrives in silence
"You’re doing better than you think. You don’t have to fix everything—just take the next right step."
Your son’s anxiety doesn’t define him. With the right tools, a safe relationship, and a calm, confident parent—he can thrive. You can have peace in your home and a deeper connection with your son, even in the midst of hard seasons.
📍 Need help navigating your son’s anxiety? CLICK HERE to book a free Reconnection Strategy Call
About Dr. Robin Graham:
Dr. Robin Graham is a clinical pharmacist, author of "You, Me and Anxiety," and mom of three who has lived with anxiety her entire life. After watching her son develop anxiety at age 12, she became passionate about helping others—especially young people—understand and manage anxiety. Robin brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her mission of helping girls and women overcome anxiety to become all they're meant to be.
Take Action Now:
Find more resources from Dr. Robin at therobyngraham.com
Grab her book "You, Me and Anxiety: Take Action Over Anxiety to Enjoy Being You" on Amazon today!
Additional support:
Join our private Facebook group Raising boys, building men HERE
Visit our website Raisingboysbuildingmen.com HERE
Grab 8 tips to connect with your son today HERE
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