Mother's Day and Birthday's—times when every mom hopes to feel appreciated, celebrated, and loved. But what happens when the day goes completely sideways? When instead of breakfast in bed and heartfelt cards, you're breaking up a fistfight between your sons at a family picnic?

If your motherhood journey doesn't exactly resemble a Hallmark commercial, you're not alone. Those picture-perfect celebrations we see on social media? They're just snapshots of a much messier reality.

My Mother's Day Disaster Story

Let me share a not-so-perfect Mother's Day from my own motherhood journey that will hopefully make you feel better about yours.

Several years ago, I was celebrating Mother's Day with my five boys. The morning started beautifully—breakfast in bed, sweet handmade cards, all the warm fuzzy feelings. My husband stayed home to study for a certification exam while I took all five boys to meet my extended family at a park.

While I was enjoying time with my siblings, my 7-year-old Easton and 9-year-old Mitch approached me. Easton's eye was swelling by the second, and Mitch wore the guiltiest expression I'd ever seen.

What happened? They were playing baseball. Easton was taunting his brother about his pitching skills until Mitch had enough—he dropped the ball, walked straight up to his brother, and punched him right in the eye.

I was livid. On Mother's Day of all days! I drove them home, handed them to my husband with a curt "these are your sons," and returned to the park.

What We Do When Celebrations Go Wrong

In my anger and disappointment, I did two things that many moms do:

1. I turned it on myself. "What am I doing wrong? What kind of mom raises boys who get in fistfights? I'm failing as a mother."
2. I convinced myself this was forever. "These boys will always fight. They'll never be friends. They'll be at odds forever."

Both reactions only added more pain to an already difficult situation.

Three Truths Every Mom Needs to Hear

If I could go back to that disappointed mom driving back to the park, here's what I'd tell her—and what you might need to hear too:

1. Time Passes

This phase you're in—it won't last forever. Your children are still learning and growing, and honestly, so are you. Give everyone grace, including yourself.

Those two fighting boys? They're now best friends who support and defend each other. What seemed like a permanent problem was just a chapter in our story.

2. Normalize Disappointment

It's okay to be disappointed when your special day doesn't go as planned. Feel those emotions—disappointment, anger, frustration—but don't dwell there.

As Brené Brown wisely says, "You can't heal what you won't feel." Allow yourself to feel disappointed, but then find a way to move forward.

Boys especially have a gift for moving on quickly. Those two brothers who were fighting? By the second night of their "roommate" consequence, they were giggling and having the best time together.

3. You're Doing Better Than You Think

We often judge ourselves based on outcomes we can't fully control. That's the unique challenge of motherhood—we're raising independent humans who make their own choices.

Here are some success markers you might be missing:

• You get up every day and try again
• You care deeply about your children
• You're seeking resources to improve (like reading this blog!)

Remember this truth: Bad moms don't wonder if they're good moms. Only good moms worry about doing a good job.

My #1 Tip for Creating the Celebration You Actually Want

Here's my game-changing suggestion for any special day—Mother's Day, your birthday, any celebration:

Let the people you love know exactly what your desires and expectations are.

Don't make them guess and then feel disappointed when they don't get it right.

If you want breakfast in bed, say, "I can't wait for my breakfast in bed on Mother's Day!" If you're hoping for a spa gift certificate, tell them directly.

This simple strategy sets everyone up for success—including you! It's far better than silently hoping, disconnecting, and ending the day hurt and angry.

The Beautiful Truth About Motherhood

That Mother's Day disaster? It's now one of our family's favorite stories. We laugh about it regularly. The experiences that feel challenging today may become your treasured family tales tomorrow.

Motherhood isn't always pretty, but it's incredibly powerful. Keep showing up. Keep believing things will get better. Give yourself—and your children—abundant grace.

Remember, you're not just raising boys today—you're building the men of tomorrow. And that work, despite its messy moments, is absolutely magnificent.

Ready for More Support?

If you're looking for a community of moms who understand the roller coaster of raising boys, come join our free Facebook group! Connect with other moms, share your stories, and get practical tips for navigating the challenging (but rewarding) journey of raising good men.

Join HERE

Remember: You're doing better than you think. I see you, and I appreciate everything you do.