Ever felt like you're giving your all, yet the appreciation is MIA? Raising sons is a rewarding journey, but it can leave us wondering, "Why am I trying so hard when no one seems to notice?" In this post, let's dive into this common struggle and explore 10 ways you can feel appreciated as you journey through Motherhood.

The Unspoken "Thank You": A Lesson in Teaching Appreciation

For a long time, I assumed my boys knew that thanking me for the countless things I did for them was important. When the “thank you’s” didn’t come, I found myself feeling hurt, thinking they did not appreciate me. Then came a realization—I had never actually taught them the importance of showing appreciation to me in the way I expected them to show it toward others.

One day, it hit me. Did they even understand that I didn’t HAVE to take them to practice or make dinner, or anything else? This prompted several discussions about appreciation and expectations. To bridge the gap, I started doing something that not only helped me but also taught them a valuable life skill—I began simply saying “you’re welcome” when they forgot (or neglected) to show gratitude.

For instance, if I drove them to practice and they got out of the car without a “thanks for the ride,” I would gently say, “you’re welcome.” Not in a weird or passive-aggressive way, but as a reminder that expressing gratitude when someone goes out of their way for them is important. Some of my boys caught on faster than others, but they all improved. Not only do I think they are better at seeing my efforts, but more importantly, they are learning an important life skill.

Now, let's dive into the 10 ways moms can feel appreciated while raising sons.

1. Acknowledge Your Efforts:

   No amount of gratitude will ever be enough if you don’t acknowledge and appreciate the efforts you make. Juggling the demands of motherhood is no small feat, and recognizing your efforts is the first step toward feeling appreciated.

2. Celebrate Small Wins:

   Moms, we tend to downplay our wins. Whether it's successfully managing a hectic day or not yelling when you really wanted to. Celebrate and acknowledge those personal victories.

3. Communicate Your Needs:

   Your family will never fully grasp the extent of your efforts and the love for them. Let them know how you are feeling and what you are needing before your neglect of yourself boils into resentment toward them.

4. Delegate Responsibilities:

   Feeling overwhelmed? Don't tell yourself you have to do it all alone. Delegate tasks and responsibilities, involving your sons and your spouse. Shared responsibilities mean shared appreciation.

5. Quality Time Matters:

   Practice the skill of zooming out. What is most important now, a clean kitchen, or a spontaneous memory? A good question to ask yourself is, “What will we remember a day, week, or month from now?” Creating lasting memories fosters a sense of connection and appreciation.

6. Look at the Facts:

   What exactly is happening that has you feeling unappreciated? Oftentimes, our brains create a story that does not serve us and is often not even true. Be honest with yourself.

7. Set Realistic Expectations:

   It's okay to set boundaries and realistic expectations. Trying to be a supermom 24/7 might leave you feeling unappreciated. By establishing realistic expectations for yourself, you create a healthier balance.

8. Cultivate Supportive Relationships:

   Surround yourself with a support system. Connect with other moms who understand you. Sharing experiences and advice creates a sense of community and belonging.

9. Invest in Self-Care:

   Taking care of yourself is an inside job. Your son is not very good at taking care of his own thoughts and emotions, expecting him to take care of yours will leave you disappointed time and time again. Find time to do something that you enjoy and is fulfilling on its own.

10. Lead by Example:

    Teach your sons the art of appreciation by exemplifying it. Show gratitude for their efforts, and they'll likely reciprocate. Leading by example in expressing appreciation openly for things others do for you and your family. 

Conclusion:

Moms, the journey of raising sons is not easy, and it's natural to crave appreciation. Remember, your efforts might go unnoticed by him now, but there will be a time when he realizes how deeply you have loved him. In the meantime, implementing these 10 strategies can foster a culture of appreciation within your family, creating more fulfillment, forgiveness, and happiness.

Cheering you on now and always.